[What's in a Name]

You know how things just happen in life, totally unplanned, such as bumping into a forgotten friend or losing your house keys...

And so it was.

I was in a 'spiritual' energy healing session last Wednesday and I was asked a number of times what is my name. By the 3rd time I said Jean-Paul it didn't feel right anymore. That name has dissolved. The energies have dissolved. I felt there was a new name.

Agtrium (pronounced Arrg-tree-Um) I asked for what it means and I recieved 'the fire of love'.

I haven't changed my name. It's not a rejection of this human bodys heritage or 'family'. I have simply stepped into a new energy. Agtrium is this energy.

I belong to no one and I am part of everyone.

love Agtrium

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[New Photos!]

Some photo highlights from September 2004 to April 2005. I now have from storage all my photo negatives I had developed whilst I was travelling. But it is just that, the film negatives.

When I get to Bangkok I will have the negatives scanned to CD and then I can see them! and ofcourse slowly put some choice ones on the internet. But for now, enjoy the new photo selection ;-)

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[Paid for Chips- Netherlands]

Simply because I don't have a regular job, I lined myself up to do some consumer market research, on mayonnaise.

Comfortably sitting in a office, I was given loads of hot chips and was only required to answer questions in the computer before me. Not that all the questions or the pre-selected answers made that much sense...But the chips tasted better with out the Mayo in any case. (Mayo on chips really is a Dutch thing)

After a hard days work (1hr) I was sent home with 12 euros in cash. Paid to eat chips, in cash no less :-)

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[My First Healing Workshop, 'Releasing'- Utrecht, the Netherlands (Holland)]

On the night before our workshop Anne Nijdam and I were both nervous, despite having spent many hours in preparation for this event. Yet on the morning, we both felt strangely calm, as if we somehow knew what the outcome would be.

It went incredibly well, it just flowed, obviously what the cosmos wanted! We had 10 participants, more than what we could have hoped for.

The healing workshop is about releasing emotions in the body whilst connecting ourselves more deeply with our own love, with our relationships and ultimately with the cosmos. People work together in pairs (facilitator/releaser) and together they tune into the body to find the origin of their emotions. By truly feeling these emotions and then stating 'I release' them, an amazing healing takes place. Its as if the words 'I release' are similar to pressing the delete button on your home computer, permanently deleting unwanted data files. It sounds too simple doesn't it?

Initially people felt nervous but once we gave demonstrations and did a warm up exercise, people relaxed and opened up. The biggest kick for me is to see people transform, or discover something about themselves or the world around them that they never thought possible. To see people experience something so wonderful that the mind cannot explain or even hope to justify just brings a smile to my face. (I was once a computer engineer too :)

Ironically, it seems, that the most cynical people at the start of the day transformed the most. Life's like that.. :-)

It just flowed. People have already singed up for the next workshop, on the 14th August . For more information, including future workshop dates or information for private healing sessions, please see the panel on the left-hand side of this web page.

It seems my 'world' travels has taken, yet again, another twist.

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[The Penny Drops Het Kwartje is gevallen]

On the 16th June it all made sense, finally. I was introduced to a lady who does healing workshops and she showed me it was possible to do work here in Holland in this area. On the same day I was offered a student room in Utrecht. It flowed.

On Sunday (26th) I moved in, this is now my home for the comming 2 months. As usual, I still dont really know what I am doing. But I now trust my feeling and know that its all alright, and that I should be here for summer (atleast :)

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[Shell Shocked in the Western World]

I heard about the 'travel return blues', but I never did expect to have one. 2 weeks in Holland and everything was cool.... until last Sunday. It hit me real hard. I realised, or should I say, I felt that I cant live the way I use to live. I knew this before as a mental idea, and then the emotional one hit me. In a way I dont know how to live my 'life' here any more in this western world. To say I am confused is an understatement. "What the F*** am I doing here?" is a question that keeps running in my mind.....

Because I dont have a day job, I plucked up the courage to do something I thought was impossible for me. I sat with my guitar at the train station and busked! Sure it was only for 30min until the train staff told me to bugger off (private property) but I did earn some money. OK, it was just enough for a cup of coffee...but the fact that 2 people tipped me is rather a novel idea- I am not sure if it was out of self pity for my attempt at singing or because they felt 'pleased'... But it doesnt matter, I enjoyed it and its the second time in 2.5 years that I actually earnt some cash...

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[Back in Holland]

Back in NL since the 22nd May. Busy organising myself to send my things from storage here to storage in Australia (by my brother). Thus faced with the questions of what to keep and what to throw away....

Great to see friends and I must say I see Holland in a different way- for instance its not dirty or crowded, which is how I tended to remember it. Its all relative to ones experience I guess.

I hope to stay in Europe for the summer, maybe rent a student house and work in a cafe or
so. Watch this space as they say..... :-)

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[Souvenir Collections- Thailand]

No real tourist/traveler to Thailand would dare go home without the mandatory souvenirs, these include of course: -

* The Thai Tattoo.
Never thought I would get one, but its done now. (sorry mum) Beautifully located on the lower left calf, is a good 4cm wide circular ball, representing the warrior Mars, complete with 3D relief showing fiery ravines and dark brown ragged peaks. Thats right, my very own Thai motorcycle scar. (like, who doesnt have one!) Some girl bumped me as I was parking the scooter and I only just briefly, briefly, touched the exhaust pipe...

* A Momento from the Reef.
No outfit is complete without the matching accessories. Complimentary to the left leg calf, I have matching ravines on my left hand, courteously supplied by a dive on the Thai reef. Distracted by watching 2 largish fish fight it out with each other, I didnt notice that I had drifted backwards against the reef wall, 20m under water. Trying to avoid kicking the reef I spun my hands around and was rewarded with my saving efforts by gashing one of them open on the coral. Strangely blood looks black at this depth...(thankfully no sharks about :-)

Wary of tropical humid weather (still have a toe nail scar from the Indian beach) its time to lick my wounds, so to speak...

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[Once in a Full Moon - Thailand]

Its been just over a month here and it has been just fine. Just fine. I understand why 13 million tourists visit Thailand each year.

A week in Bangkok and I did next to no sightseeing... After India I simply enjoyed a modern, comfortable city, complete with the nightlife trappings.

Together with a Thai girl we traveled for 2 weeks, mostly off the tourist beat. Traveling with a local I really saw Thailand with different eyes and ears, including a 'unique' situation.

We arrived at the local government office car park in order to pick up her friends scooter. There were many people crowding about, including someone talking in a megaphone; my Thai friend simply said in broken English something about a fight. So I am looking for a stand where they will sell tickets for tonights Thai boxing match...

No sooner had we gotten onto the scooter with my friend at the helm when I hear some commotion and whizzing sounds of flying objects...Time slowed down, it felt like the opening scene to a war movie. I looked up in horror to see to my left a hoard of young men throwing rocks and bottles directly towards us. I held my breath as I hoped to dodge the projectiles..we were caught directly between 2 gangs who didnt seem too happy with each other! Yelling to my friend to 'GO!' she promptly stalls the bike. Situation looking desperate now... Somehow we back the bike out of the line of fire as I watch in slow motion one gang throwing rocks and somehow, unscathed, we run into the nearest building. So much for that boxing match tonight....

For the Thai New Year we visited her family in a middle of no-where farming village, hours north of Bangkok. No internet (gasp!) no phone, no fridge, a simple wood stove in the kitchen etc. I think I was the only foreigner for miles around and judging by the reaction on peoples faces when they saw me, I guess not many drop into this neighborhood either. It was refreshing to get away from the tourist traps too; I particularly enjoyed one night when mum cooked up whole, live frogs that were eaten heartily by the grand kid... As a vegetarian I missed out on this delicacy :-)

But I never really intended to travel Thailand, which brings me to the island Ko Samui. Been here almost 2 weeks, laze in the day (too hot and humid to do otherwise) and play at night.

Danced at the full moon party on the neighboring island of Ko Pha-Ngan (April 23rd). It didnt quite live upto its image of a crazy dance party; infact it really was a tourist, drunken beach party. Some people dancing, some sleeping on the beach (too drunk), a few getting it on (really too drunk!) and others just chilling around. Had a good time still, a few Red Bulls (actually RB originates from Thailand) to keep me going.

Hired a scooter and I enjoy riding around the ocean roads, especially after the clubs close at 2am; cool ocean breeze blowing, no traffic on the road as I wind (as much as a little 100cc will wind) along the hilly corners back to my hotel. Life is just fine.

Just 3 more weeks before I depart Thailand (21 May)...sigh.

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[Last Days in INDIA]

A typical day in India....it can make you laugh and cry simultaneously.

* I buy a tix to Bangkok departing Calcutta from a 'hole in the wall' travel agent. When I return to pickup the tix I see that it is hand written..I am a little suspicious and ask for the airline ticketing office number.

* I am in my hotel and getting ready for lunch when the travel agent appears and says he needs the rest of the money in half hour...some strange story about a bank strike, unexpectedly today.

* Most scams apply pressure with "it needs to be done now" so I am alert. I call the airline on the way to the ATM and they dont have me listed...I goto the ATM and its closed, they have locked the 24 ATM due to the strike. But still something doesn't add up.

*I go back to the travel agency and say I wasnt listed on the airline...I see on the tix my name is written without space. In India they almost have no sense of self initiative and the airline office agent didnt think to ask, lets search again for your name with out a space..... I explain to the travel agent I cant get the money, he says coolly, ok, "tommorrow"..what happened to the "I need it in 30min?" and all that stress!!

*I try and call the airline office again and the central telephone exchange is down for the next couple of hours!

Those days are over for me now, I have arrived in Bangkok on the 24/3/05

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[Moving on- Last Days in India]

Long time no message....Ashrams don't make for exciting travels stories and the last 2 months and a bit have been no exception.

Personal highlights started after I did the Reiki 1 attunements and later Reiki 2. All this energy work led to an increased intuition which led to a host of 'unusual' experiences. My creative spark has also fired up and I have spent alot of time over the last weeks writing music, and then trying to play it... still sing 1/5th off key and torture my neighbors...coupled with me thumping on the guitar..but hey, I'm having fun.

India has a way of doing one's head in. Add to this raving, wanna be self realised mental patients out on a day pass (I can hear those hospital orderlies now.. "this is where our patients escaped to!") and one gets a feel of this Ashram town. Just the very word itself, India, should conjure up enough images of numbing madness; do I need to say more?

Yes I've flipped my lid, I can't take it anymore! With great happiness I should be in Bangkok, Thailand, within a week of this website posting. Thai beer never tasted sooo goood.... :-)

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[NEW PHOTOS]

Thats right, I have finally worked out how to add more photos to my web page :-) I still dont have a digital camera so I just have a handful of pics, courtesy of fellow travellors. But its quality of quantity right, enjoy!

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[Sing in the New Year]

Never known to hold a tune seemed like the perfect excuse to join the choir :-) And not just any choir, this one was serious. 4 voices (alto, soprano etc) and they even had the music recorded on CD for each voice, so we could practice at home. The women had to audition for a place but I got in only, and I mean only, into the bass section because they needed more men.

For 2 weeks we practiced upto 5 hours a day...it became tiring for all and our voices were strained. But I learnt so much about music! On New Years eve, the choir (150 of us) practiced till 8pm, and we were performing the next morning, required to be present in the hall at the most ridiculous time of 6am.... India likes to wake up early :-( It's sad but true to say that I was sound asleep when the clock struck the New Year, ashrams aren't know for their parties!

Apart from the usual dull devotional songs our 2 best 'hits' (available at any obscure music store :) were an African/English and a Portuguese song.

Think we sounded ok, hard to know when your in it. Due to the ashram politics we weren't properly microphoned, but the energy of the choir was wonderful and that was enough for me.

And not a moment too soon; by the evening of the 1st Jan I lost my voice totally, I could barely wisper....

Happy New Year!

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